The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I wish there were birth control emojis
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize