she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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