The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
