also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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