Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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