Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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