its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
