So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
