Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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