I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
