I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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