im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
