your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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