thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
