you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
