dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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