I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
