I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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