walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
