What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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