I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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