bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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