you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
