Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
