my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
