it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
