I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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