google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
