That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
