i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
