i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
me + whiskey = a bad person
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize