She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
