i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
