If i come over, it means nothing
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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