I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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