Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
