I wanna bring you to show and tell
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
