is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
