I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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