So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
