Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
