I'm jealous of your bromance
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
