My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
