I'm so fucking centered right now
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
