If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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