Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize