You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
