just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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