I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize