Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
we made out on top of his cat.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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