I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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