Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
