just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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