watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize