is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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