there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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