Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
