I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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