Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Mom said you looked used
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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