all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry about my life...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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