At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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