Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
why is half of my head shaved?
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