so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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