I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
