i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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