if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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