Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
