Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
