Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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