Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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