those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
