____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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