i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
