i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Too much gin, very little bucket
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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