You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I understand Curling. That high.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
