Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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