I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
